When you wanna do more

I know I could do so much more. But I know as well, from my past experiences, that keeping myself busy is not the answer.

When you keep yourself busy

I’ve been caught up so many times on working on stuff that didn’t really matter. I realized that whenever I felt the need to keep myself busy it was because there was something much more important that I was afraid to face.

For example, it happened to me when:

• In 2014, I had arthritis and got obssessed with my then job. In reality, I was afraid to admit to myself that I was unhappy and that I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life.

Or

• In 2017, when I got busy trying so many activities such as learning crochet or working on growing Davidson’s Instagram profile. The truth is I was afraid of admitting to myself that I loved writing and wanted to make a living out of it. To my mind, it was easier to pursue one new (dead-end) activity after another than actually trying to build around something I really enjoy doing.

Finding the right balance

Today, I’m still figuring out the best way to make use of my time. I could be browsing less on Instagram for example. I could practice more meditation, read more, write more…

It’s not that easy to find the right balance when you have a 1 year old baby. Luckily she’s easier now to take care of than she used to be as a newborn (Thank you Ellie ❤).

Be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

I guess what matters is just to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. And as for me right now, it is when I have nothing to do.

It feels so unnatural to me to do nothing but I know it’s necessary in order to reflect on my life and allow new insights or inspiration to come to me.