It wasn’t the pills

Last year I wrote a blog post talking about how I felt better after starting taking some pills that were prescribed by a psychiatrist. I described how I felt like the anxious, and how the daily annoyances were not affecting me as strongly as before.

As it happens, the pills had little to do with the improvement.

When I first asked for medical assistance, I used the Brazilian public healthcare system. As it happens, the demand for the psychiatrist was huge, and I had to wait 3 months before I had my first appointment.

During those 3 months, I was able to fix many of the issues that were causing stress. In fact, when I started taking my medication, I had just accomplished one of my most important goals at the time.

A couple of months later, new situations arised and I caught myself feelings just as anxious as ever, as if I hadn’t been taking any medicine at all.

I then decided to quit the medication and didn’t feel any difference. I also quit the psychiatrist because he sucked. I had to wait 3 months for an appointment, then 3 hours inline, just to spend 20 minutes listening to him bragging about how amazing of a psychiatrist he is instead of asking me questions about how I was feeling.

I only continued with what I felt was helping a lot: the weekly sessions with the psychologist, which I’ve been attending since then. In every session, she simply asks me questions and let me speak. No interruptions, no advice, just some questions to guide the conversation. It’s liberating.

Now I know: sometimes, anxiety comes from within, but sometimes it comes from the ouside, from your environment and the people you’re sorrounded with.

I’ve been focusing on changing that, as much I can. It’s working.